


Baby, Be Mine

by petitfangs



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Time, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Nipple Play, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Sex, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitfangs/pseuds/petitfangs
Summary: “Hey,” Ryan greeted him, eyes big and warm like the curl of his lips, the bright shine of his teeth, white and perfect.Something tightens, low and hot, in Shane’s stomach. He tampers down the sudden urge to kiss him.‘"You were great out there.” Shane commented, his voice neutral. It still tastes too much like a confession on his tongue.Ryan beamed at him, ducking his head, grabbing an icy bottle of water from the table. “Aww. I should’ve recorded that. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them how sweet you are.”Only with you, and nobody knows; nobody.Shane scoffs. “I’m not that sweet.”
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 25
Kudos: 434





	Baby, Be Mine

Shane cheered along with the rest of the crowd when the buzzer starts blaring. He doesn’t know jack shit about basketball, but he has eyes; he can see Ryan hit a corner shot right before the final second, earning 3 points-- which means they’ve just won the game. 

He grinned when he saw Zack and Steven carrying Ryan over their shoulders, basketball team rivalry forgotten in a moment of pure teammate camaraderie. 

Shane didn’t like sports, least of all basketball--the fact that he knew anything about it at all is entirely because of the little guy. He’s self-aware enough to admit he’s got it bad, so bad that he would retain all kinds of idiotic, irrelevant information known to mankind just to make Ryan happy. 

_Hella whipped,_ Shane thought to himself, smiling wryly. But what else is new? 

He can’t help but roll his eyes and laugh a little when he saw Ryan and his teammates still whooping and high fiving each other, as if they just won the NBA, instead of a Buzzfeed charity video thing.

Shane could see Ryan’s eyes scanning the crowd, as if looking for someone. Shane sat a little straighter- his heart skipped a beat when he saw Ryan lock eyes with him, flashing a big grin that Shane can’t help but return. 

It was only moments later that Shane realised one of the cameramen had panned towards him, for god knows how long. He shrugs and winks at the camera, sipping his beer nonchalantly. 

They might not use the clip, but if they did, then whatever. Let the internet have their fun, there’s no harm in that. It’s nothing. 

Shane nursed his beer, ignoring the fluttering feeling in his chest. 

Shane knows the thing between them was new, fragile. He’s not sure how to navigate through it, what’s acceptable to put out in the open, and what’s not. They both value their privacy, sure, but lately he’s been wondering what it would be like to just... not hide it anymore.

The thought caressed the back of his mind, beckoning him to give in and own up to why he wants it so badly.

 _You want him to be yours. You want the world to know that he’s yours, and yours alone._

Shane shook his head, interrupting his own train of thought. He’s happy with the way things were, it was more than he could have ever hoped for.

It was enough.

-

Shane hung back on the bleachers, waiting for the crowd to fully disperse before making his way down to the refreshment stand. He could see from the corner of his eye that Ryan was waving goodbye to his teammates and the camera crew, before jogging towards him. 

Shane can't take his eyes off the sight in front of him.

Ryan’s breath is white-hot in the air, his body almost steaming, and Shane is shivering with everything but the cold. Without conscious thought, Shane’s eyes dropped to take in the younger man’s athletic form. Ryan was panting a little, and had lifted his jersey to wipe the sweat off his brow, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his tanned chest.

“Hey,” Ryan greeted him, eyes big and warm like the curl of his lips, the bright shine of his teeth, white and perfect.

Something tightens, low and hot, in Shane’s stomach. He tampers down the sudden urge to kiss him. 

‘"You were great out there.” Shane commented, his voice neutral. It still tastes too much like a confession on his tongue. 

Ryan beamed at him, ducking his head, grabbing an icy bottle of water from the table. “Aww. I should’ve recorded that. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them how sweet you are.”

_Only with you, and nobody knows; nobody._

Shane scoffs. “I’m not that sweet.” 

“Yeah you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“You just came out here and watched 2 hours of sports,” Ryan says smugly. “Admit it. You’re a sweetie.” 

“Maybe I just came out here to see you get your ass kicked.” Shane quips back, heaving out an exaggerated sigh. “Not gonna lie-- I’m a lil’ disappointed.” 

Ryan laughs, high and clear as a bell. “Fuck you,” he says fondly, smacking him in the arm with the water bottle, before holding it against his neck, breathing a little contented sigh at the cold relief. 

Before Shane even realized he moved, he touched his fingertips to Ryan’s cheek, feeling the heated skin. He leaned in, dipping his head a little lower so they were eye to eye.

Ryan’s eyes widened at his touch, a blush slowly creeping up his face. Shane stares at the flutter of eyelashes against pink cheeks, sees the younger man tentatively tilt his head towards him. Shane licked his lips, and instinctively leans in for a kiss.

A low whistle was heard from somewhere behind him, probably someone from the cleanup crew. Ryan immediately jerked away from him, as if he had been burnt, before casually running a hand through his sweaty hair, eyes darting around wildly to see who saw them. 

Shane drops his hand, looking down on the floor. His throat feels like he had just swallowed cement. 

Shane hears a soft sound and looks up, seeing Ryan look at him apologetically. “Um. I gotta, finish up here, it’ll only take a minute. Then maybe we can… head back to your place?” 

He felt his throat ease, if only a little. He nods, and watches Ryan walk away.

-

Shane could have just written it off, forgotten all about it if Ryan hadn’t brought it up. 

“--there?”

Shane was so focused on pouring out the popcorn in his bowl, that he missed what Ryan said entirely. 

“What?”

“At the court just now. Do you think anyone recorded--um, anyone was recording us?” 

Shane stills. “No.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah.” Shane says, tone clipped. 

“Oh. Ok.” Ryan says, throwing a handful of popcorn in his mouth. 

Shane stares at the popcorn, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. He glares at the TV screen. He can’t focus, doesn’t even remember what the hell were they watching. He’s acutely aware of the sliver of anger that’s starting to build from the bottom of his stomach. He tries to reign it in, because he knows, _knows_ it’s stupid, unjustified and completely unwarranted. 

“Hey, maybe we can pitch this at-”

“Why would it matter?” Shane blurts out, cutting Ryan off. 

Ryan looked taken back, surprised at his sudden outburst. ‘What?” 

“If people saw us kissing.” 

Ryan didn’t reply. He looks so young with his eyes so big like that, especially in combination with the giant bowl of popcorn in his hands, the too-big sweatpants, the still shower-water-dripping strands of hair. 

Shane wants to push, but he stopped himself. There's no point in harping on it. “Never mind, forget it.” He sighed, getting up from the couch. 

The moment he did, he felt a slight tug on his sleeve. 

“I’m sorry.” Ryan says, not meeting Shane’s eyes, but not letting go of his sleeve either. “Are you mad at me?” 

"I'm not mad." Shane answers, pulling his sleeve from Ryan’s grasp. He heads to the kitchen, calling out over his shoulder. “It’s getting late. You should probably head home.”

He heard Ryan made a soft sound behind him, but he ignored it. He opened his fridge and poured himself a glass of water. 

He hears Ryan shuffling behind him.

“Shane--”

"Not now, Ryan." Shane says, a little too sharply. 

“Shane, will you just look at me?” 

Shane turns around and faces him, his expression guarded. 

"You’re mad, I know you are. You--” Ryan stops himself, biting his lip. “I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to say?” 

“Nothing. I already told you, it’s fine.” he says.

Ryan let out a frustrated sigh. “You can’t just ask me to leave like this.”

“Sure I can.” Shane says coolly, taking a sip of his water. 

Ryan threw his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. “What the fuck do you want me to say?” 

Shane said nothing, sipping his water quietly. 

_Tell me you don’t care about what other people think about us. Tell me you’re mine._

He wants to tell him that, but he can’t, not yet; he knows Ryan is not ready for any of it.

“I'm just tired, man. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Shane finally replies, feeling resigned. He sets his glass down on the counter. “Go home, Ryan.”

Ryan just stood there, seething. Shane could see the flare of heat on his cheeks, the angry downturn of that petulant mouth. 

“No.”

Shane cocked his head, raising his eyebrow at Ryan. 

“If you--” Ryan starts, before taking a deep breath. “If you want me to leave, you have to kiss me first.” 

“What.” Shane says, feeling the corner of his mouth twitch. 

“You heard me.” Ryan says, glaring daggers at him. “Kiss me, and then tell me you want me to leave.” he snaps, moving closer, crowding him against the counter. 

Shane stares at him for a moment, before leaning down and swiftly planting a kiss on Ryan’s forehead.The younger man blinked, looking up at him incredulously. 

“Alright, off you go--“ Shane was cut off mid-sentence when Ryan suddenly surged up to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, burying his face into his neck. 

Shane exhales sharply through his nose and it comes out as a grunt instead of a sigh. “Ryan--”

“That doesn’t count. Dick head,” he mumbles into Shane’s collarbone, lips almost brushing against skin but not quite. Ryan’s breath is warm on Shane’s neck, making him draw in a quivering breath. “Come on, man.” 

Shane felt Ryan’s hair tickle his neck when the younger man looked up at him, dark lashes fluttering against his cheeks, breathy noise from the back of his throat. “Please, Shane” he whispers. 

Shane feels his resolve immediately crumble. His head is high on those two simple words, and he caves in, shoving down his hurt feelings, the complicated jumble of it way down, and finally bends his head to take Ryan’s mouth with his own.

Ryan inhales through his nose, as if he was relieved. Shane feels Ryan’s soft breath against his lips, mouth parting wider and softer the more insistent Shane's is pressing down on it. 

Shane's head is spinning, he hates how affected he gets just from this. 

Ryan pulls back, giving him a shit-eating grin. "Do you still want me to go?” Ryan says, sounding smug. 

“Shut up.” Shane growls, before kissing him again. Ryan huffed a laugh against his lips, brushing his fingers through Shane’s hair, tugging him down, closer. 

Still kissing, Shane maneuvers them blindly out of the kitchen, backing Ryan towards the living room- their kiss broke off when they stumbled onto the couch. 

“Tired?” Ryan teases, leaning over Shane, sliding his arms back around his shoulders. 

“Nope.” Shane hums, grabbing the younger man by the waist and pulling him fully onto his lap. “I was saving you from neck strain.”

Ryan made a little questioning sound at him. 

“I’m a little too tall for you to keep kissing me while standing, buddy.” Shane says, smirking. 

Ryan turns red, hitting his arm when Shane snickered. "Shut up, Shane" Ryan mutters, before Shane seals his lips again.

They turn their heads to fit into each other differently, the slide of their mouths slick-hot. Ryan hums, and Shane can feel the vibrations throughout his body. He can’t help but let out a low groan from deep down his throat, breaking off the kiss to mouth along Ryan’s jawline. He leans down and sucks a bruise into his clavicle, a surprising erogenous zone, made obvious to him from how Ryan's muscles jump underneath Shane's mouth. His hands glide up those ribs, avoiding ticklish pits and down again, running his palms over his chest, feeling his heartbeat. 

A stutter of breath, almost a noise, but Ryan holds it back while Shane watches him, taking in every expression. Ryan turns his face away, squirming a little when Shane's thumbs roll over the tightening buds, hard points against his t-shirt. The dark blush that spread all the way up that forehead whisper to Shane that this is the first time Ryan lets himself be touched like that, that no matter how much he loved it, Ryan didn’t let any of his past girlfriends see how sensitive he is here. 

He presses and rubs, teases. His tongue flicks over Ryan's bottom lip that starts quivering at that, watches him clamp his mouth shut to muffle a sigh, but Shane hears it anyway. He feels Ryan shifting on his lap, hears his breath hitch when he feels Shane’s growing hardness under him. 

Shane took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down. They should go slow, and this isn’t slow. He needs to put a stop to this. Shane shifts a little from under him, letting his arms fall to his sides. 

Ryan made a little confused noise. "Shane?" whispers a tiny voice, almost inaudible, almost silent over the impacts of their movements, over both of their heavy breathing. Shane would have heard it next to an aircraft hangar.

 _Baby steps_ , Shane reminds himself. _Slow. Slowly_. 

Ryan lets out a shaky sigh, undulating his hips, unwittingly grinding on Shane’s hard on. 

_Fuck._

Shane halts his movements, holding Ryan still.

“We have to stop, baby.” 

“Why?”

Shane lets out a shallow breath. "I... I don't want to rush you.”

Ryan’s head is lowered, but he can see a hint of a scowl. He feels Ryan lean against his shoulder, hearing him mumble something.

“What was that?” 

“You- can’t just decide things for me.” Ryan bit out, eyes flickering up to him. “--I’m not made from glass. I can take it.” 

Shane took a sharp inhale. “You don’t know what you want.”

“I want--” Ryan pauses, cheeks coloring a little before he continues “..more. I want more.” 

“You sure?" 

“Yes. And--” Ryan pauses again, swallowing. “--I don’t want you to hold back.” 

Shane willed himself to calm down.

“Okay.” Shane says after a beat, looking at Ryan. “But promise me you’ll stop me if it gets too much.” 

Barely visible, Ryan nods. One blink, two, three. Shane softly clears his throat. 

"Get up." Shane says.

Ryan cocked his head, looking confused.

“Don’t make me ask you again.” He makes his voice as soft as he can, but still stern. Maybe he is still light-headed from those few minutes ago, maybe his brain hasn't started working yet- but if Ryan is adamant about wanting more, wanting Shane to let go, then he needs to do this right. 

Ryan slides off his lap and stands up, facing Shane, a questioning look in his eyes. 

"Bedroom, now." Shane says. The "please" is silent, just like Ryan’s slight protest at his bossy tone, that Shane can read in the sharp opening of his mouth, the deepening red of his cheeks. But Ryan complies.

Shane's heart is racing. He lets Ryan walk first, watching him quickly climb up the stairs. He waits a beat, before following him into the bedroom. 

He enters his room and tries to steady his breathing. Ryan’s standing in the middle of the room, wringing his hands. Shane is shaking a little bit himself, but Ryan's nervousness is so obvious, he could practically smell it. Ryan doesn’t move, shuffling his feet in the same spot and waits. _Waits_. Waits for Shane to give him another instruction. Shane's heart swells with the sheer idea of Ryan doing anything, anything he wants. 

"Bed," Shane says. "Strip."

Ryan flinches a little at the second part. Shane waits for a "no" that doesn't come. He exhales as he tries to scrape his composure off the floor when Ryan tugs his t-shirt off, sliding out of his sweats and underwear in one go, and walks over to the bed. 

Shane takes off his shirt, and pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes, tries to steady his breathing again. After a moment, Shane finally dares to look. He sees Ryan sitting on the edge of the bed, hands loosely curled over the bedspread. Ryan stares at a point somewhere behind Shane’s head, biting his lip. 

_Fuck. Fuck, God._ Shane shoves his nerves down, makes the first small steps across the room, sees Ryan’s fingers twitch with the sound of his movements. Ryan looks at him, as if waiting for his instruction. 

"Feet up. Lie down." Shane clipped, throat feeling tight.

Ryan makes a small sound, hesitates. Shane sees those eyes flicker over to him for a moment, jaw clenched, before doing exactly as told. Ryan slid back, legs parting naturally. His blush deepened, spreading down his neck, fanning across his chest. 

Shane sat down on the bed. Here, he can hear Ryan's rapid breathing, can see the thin film of sweat on his skin. Shane tries to keep his breathing under control. "If you… if you don’t want this, say it. You can say stop, any time."

No answer.

"Ryan?"

"Um." Ryan’s voice is very quiet.

"... We can stop." Shane offers. 

"I don't even know what you want right now, man." Ryan says, sounding exasperated.

Shane’s breath stutters."I-- I want to touch you.”

"Touch me?"

Shane breathes. "Yeah." Slowly, with enough space and time for Ryan to slap it away, to tell him to stop, Shane raises his hand, then lowers it onto Ryan's bicep. Shane can feel the tremble in this body. 

"Just want to touch you, baby." Shane looks at him, waiting for his response. Ryan says nothing, but his head jerks a nod, and Shane immediately slides his hand towards Ryan’s bare chest, feeling his thudding heartbeat. The sensation of Ryan's naked skin underneath his hands doesn't fail to make him nervous. Already this is too much. He feels like he’ll never get used to this- feeling so overwhelmed just by touching him. 

Shane puts his other hand on that body as well, sliding down his thigh. Ryan flinches under him but doesn't make a sound. Shane exhales through his nose, wills himself to concentrate on the bliss of skin, of trust. 

Shane moves closer, until he’s close enough to touch his forehead to that neck. He drops a soft kiss on a clavicle, then another. Ryan smells like Shane’s body wash, of clean sweat, and an addictive scent that was wholly him. Shane’s hands have a mind of their own, touching the skin, sliding down those flanks, thumbs settle over his hip bones. He strokes the soft skin there, buries his face in the curve of Ryan's neck, inhaling. 

After a beat, Shane hears, "This is so weird. You’re weird."

"Am I?" Shane kisses his neck.

"Making me lie down naked, and then just. Touching. And sniffing me.”

Shane blinks. "Do you... want me to do something different?"

Short, tense silence. "I don’t-I, I don’t know." Ryan shifts a little. "You're- you’re the one that started this." Ryan makes it sound like an accusation. 

"You agreed to it." Shane mutters.

Ryan scoffed, looking away, knees pressed together. 

"… We can stop." Shane says again. 

"I-- I didn’t say that.” Ryan sighed, sounding frustrated. “God, for fuck's sake, just--” Ryan snaps, before covering his face with his hands. 

“Just. Fucking do something, already.” Ryan’s voice is muffled, but Shane heard him anyway. But he is, Shane was about to retort, but then he understood. He stares at Ryan’s shifting hips, eyes zeroing on his cock thickening with arousal. Shane’s heart swells with the sheer thought of Ryan being this aroused just from his light touches. 

Shane grins to himself, leaning down, bypassing Ryan’s cock to press light, teasing kisses on his stomach instead. Ryan still has his face hidden in his hands. Shane’s hands traveled higher up Ryan’s chest, finding his nipples and circling the pebbled skin before pinching them. Ryan lets out a muffled sound, but when Shane nudged his arms away to get more access, Ryan refused to budge, stubbornly keeping his face in his hands. 

Laughing a little, Shane traces soft circles around the reddening nubs. “ Your tits are so sensitive.” he teases. Shane heard a muffled “Fuck you” and he just laughs, before leaning up and burying his head in the crook of Ryan’s elbow instead, so he could mouth over a nipple, suck the nub into his mouth. He hums, still suckling, feels new heat climbing up the back of his neck at the sound of Ryan’s muffled moan.

Shane runs his tongue over the nub, broad and flat, and feels it tighten under his tongue. Ryan lets out a little unhappy sound when Shane lets go, rearranges his position to get to the other one. Ryan doesn't stop him but also doesn't make it easy, keeping his arms in the way. Shane had to nudge over his arms, shoving his face into the small space, taking the other nipple in his mouth, rhythmically sucking it, before taking it between his teeth and tugging it hard.

"Ow, no-not so--" Ryan breathes, curling forward a little into the pain as Shane soothed the abused nub with his lips.

“Please, Shane,” Ryan whispers, and it sounds so, so _good_ to Shane's ears, so aroused and shy and just for him; he earned those words. Shane hums low and finally pulls Ryan’s arms out of the way, pushing it down against the bedspread. Ryan’s hands stay there, clutching the sheets when Shane lets go of them. Shane ducks his head, nuzzling, nothing keeping him away from this chest now. He groans over Ryan’s soft gasp, sees him turn his head to the side, into the pillow, hiding his face. Shane alternates between biting and licking both nipples, fueled by Ryan writhing beneath him. He felt Ryan’s hands slide into his hair and hold on there, pressing him closer.

Shane loses a little time here. When he pulls back eventually, Ryan's chest is slick with spit. His dusky nipples are bitten to full redness. Shane watches his teeth marks disappear from around the left one. He doesn't have to look down between them to know that Ryan’s hard and leaking against his belly. 

Ryan’s hands urge him back in place, but Shane works his mouth lower, down his chest, nips the soft skin, feeling Ryan shudder when Shane mouths a hipbone, flicks his tongue inside his navel. Ryan's belly heaves before his eyes, nervous and scared and so beautiful, just like the glistening tip of his cock. Shane licks that wetness away, and Ryan's entire body _jolts_.

Shane’s tongue darts out again, drags over the skin and laps over the entire head. “Fuck” Ryan sputters, and Shane is thinking just the same, gets braver with encouragement. This might be the first time he’s blowing Ryan, but he’s definitely not unprepared. He had imagined giving head to Ryan since he first saw him. 

He kisses the tip, parts his lips just the tiniest bit over it, then pulls back, teasing the slit before swallowing him whole. He bob his head up and down, just a little. Shane runs one of his hands up the back of one thigh, spreading Ryan’s legs wider, making more space for himself. He feels the muscles shudder underneath his fingertips, knew he would see a trembling belly if he opened his eyes. 

Shane sucks Ryan down deeper. Once it hits the back of his throat, he sighs through his nose, presses the heel of his palm harder against his own erection. He hears Ryan’s moan, feels him bucking his hips up from under him. Shane’s mouth slid off Ryan’s cock with an obscene pop, his mouth curling into a little smile when Ryan whimpers, his hips stuttering forward, chasing Shane’s mouth. “Easy, baby. Can’t have you coming so soon.” 

Ryan glares from above with heated apples of cheeks, biting his lip. “Fuck you, Shane.”

Shane only laughs, leaning down to press a soft kiss on the head, hearing Ryan whimper again. “Want more, baby?” 

Ryan whines, canting his hips. 

“Words, Ryan.” Shane says, before tonguing the slit. 

“Fuck--” Ryan hisses, hands covering his face again, muffling a breathless “More.” He spread his legs wider. 

Shane reaches out towards his nightstand, pulling out the lube and tossing it on the bed. He looked at Ryan, fighting the instinct to reach out and pull his hands away, to see his face. Instead, Shane watches him as he is, through the wide gap of Ryan’s legs – breathing quickly, tight belly quivering –before he leans in and licks a broad swipe from hole to balls. The texture of Ryan’s skin here is addictive and the longer he keeps running his tongue and lips over it, the more Shane’s eyes drift closed, his thumb strokes his entrance, lightly pushing, keeping Ryan soft where Shane dips his tongue in. It contracts at that, at the slick and apparently completely new sensation, and finally there’s a fist in Shane’s hair now, alternating between pulling him closer and pushing him away. 

“Shane,” Ryan bit out, sounding uncertain.”I don’t-- that’s gross...”

Shane huffs out a little laugh, manages to breathe out “It really isn’t,” before burying his face and tongue and mouth hard, ignores the pull on his scalp and the too-tight pressure around his tongue, because he needs this. Would crawl into Ryan if he could. Wants to. Has a feeling Ryan would let him. 

“Sh-Shane.” Ryan stutters out, letting out a soft whine. Two hands in Shane’s hair now and Shane works his mouth, has thought about this for so very long that this moment almost felt like a dream. Shane grabs the lube and scoots closer on his knees. He shoves Ryan’s thighs apart and up some more until Ryan’s ass lifts a little off of the bed. Ryan yelps, probably embarrassed to be manhandled like this, never been rimmed or taken care of like this.

Ryan’s insides were hot, almost scalding on his tongue, and he can’t help but lick tenderly, Ryan’s stuttered moans fuelling him, he’s so hard he’s aching. Ryan always makes him feel alive, too out of his mind. Makes him think of _forever_ , how it feels like one lifetime doesn’t seem anywhere near enough to give everything he wants Ryan to have of him.

Shane wraps a hand around Ryan’s cock because that’s what he wants, needs Ryan writhing more, to gasp and to roll his hips, and he wants Ryan to come. Ryan is so swollen that he only needs a few backhanded strokes to get him on the edge, to loosen the white-knuckled fingers in Shane’s hair. Shane watches from between Ryan’s legs, keeps watching when he coats his fingers with lube, pressing his thumb against his perineum, pushing his tongue deeper inside, Ryan’s throbbing cock in his other hand, so hard and full. Ryan clenches around his tongue like a vice. There’s a beginning stickiness in Shane’s palm as he strips Ryan’s cock with intention, tight and slow. The fingers that were pushing his head not long ago now just pulled him closer. 

Shane shoves his chin forward, his slicked thumb sliding down his perineum to edge inside his hole, deeper than his tongue, earning him a strangled, “Fuck,” from above, makes him pull back and repeat until he’s built up a quick rhythm.

Ryan’s letting him fingerfuck him. The sheer thought of it was driving Shane insane, knowing he’s the only one that has ever done this, ever been allowed to do this. Shane sped up his movements, needing Ryan coming like this, with Shane all over him, in him, filling him up.

Ryan quietly hisses, “Shit, fuck,” as if he can’t believe it himself, as if he can’t believe Shane could make him feel this way, could give him these sensations, this pleasure; and Ryan’s hips rock, oh-so-very slightly but they do, Shane can feel it like it’s his own body that’s moving. He would pant open-mouthed, if he wasn’t sealing his lips around Ryan’s hole to keep him all to himself, to give him everything. Ryan’s heat increases in both Shane’s hand and on his mouth, everything drawing tighter, legs twitching, balls drawing up to softly bump against the bridge of Shane’s nose when he rocks his face into Ryan’s ass. Shane’s thumb is knuckle-deep and pressing further now, as much as that body allows, and Shane is practically shaking because it’s intoxicating, _exhilarating_ to love like this.

There’s a sound that almost resembles loss when Shane withdraws his mouth, Ryan all but bucks up violently when Shane swallows his erection again. Lips wrapped tight and tongue swirling as it had been in his ass, Ryan moans out loud, louder, until he almost chokes on it, burying himself deep in Shane’s throat and on now two of Shane’s fingers – thumb traded for middle and pointer, longer, and much more flexible- Shane curled his fingers, knows the exact moment he’s hitting Ryan’s prostate dead-on, from Ryan’s bitten off scream, hips canting up so hard he almost bucks Shane off. When Ryan comes, he fucks his hips up into Shane’s mouth once, before grinding himself onto Shane’s fingers, hard, involuntarily- fuck, he wishes he could bottle this moment up, never wanting to forget how hard Ryan came, just from his mouth and hands. 

Ryan whimpers sweetly, perfectly, while he keeps fucking himself between Shane’s mouth and fingers, Shane with him every second of it, not letting up, not with the way Ryan’s fingers scrabble over his head, looking for support they can’t get, support nobody could provide him through this. Shane swallows obediently, hungry, his own cock fucking the sheets, blind and frantic, feeling like a mindless beast. 

There’s a pleading whisper when Ryan has enough, rode out every last drop down Shane’s throat. One last swallow and Shane lets Ryan’s cock slide free, and it’s beautiful, really, but not as beautiful as his reddened hole, shiny with spit and perfect. Shane can’t help but keep his fingers inside, even when Ryan groans and tries to close his legs- Shane holds him open, mesmerized, keeping his fingers there while he gets up, kneeling in front of his splayed open thighs, staring at Ryan where he’s stretched out on Shane’s fingers.

He doesn’t know how long he had been staring, but it was long enough for Ryan to even out his breathing and shakily reach out to cover where he’s so very exposed. Shane finally relented, gently taking his fingers out, hearing Ryan make a soft sound, like he’s done for the night. 

But Shane isn’t done yet, far from it. 

“Ryan.” Shane climbs along the sated line of Ryan’s body, on elbows and knees, and Shane can feel those hands reach for his shoulders, his spent cock twitching when Shane brings his own leaking one out to rub between their bellies.

Ryan, who left his legs spread so innocently, so trusting, begin to shake a little when Shane uses his other hand to direct himself between his legs.

“Ryan,” Shane repeats, damp-hot against Ryan’s bared neck, has his eyes closed and is shaking, all muscles tight and molten down at the same time.

“Ryan, I--” Shane swallows. “Wanna come inside you.” Shane breathes out, and he’s certain he must be sounding as desperate as he feels. The urge is so strong, the possibility so close, Ryan is right here and wet and hot when Shane bumps his cock against the soft hole, and fuck, he wants, he wants, he _needs_. 

“Just the tip, I promise. Please, Ryan.” Shane whispers feverishly. The air seems to vibrate around them, in Shane’s lungs, strung tense and tight.

An endless silence seems to stretch until Shane hears a shaky exhale, followed by a shaky

“Yeah, ok.”

Already pressed so impossibly close, there’s only a breath of force needed to push inside, then some more because Ryan is bearing down instinctively, but Shane is almost in, shooting hot precum while still wrestling his way inside, and his fingernails digging into Ryan’s thighs, to keep himself from bucking in deeper because he promised, he had _promised_. Ryan lets out a shocked moan, seizing under Shane’s body, squirming like a pinned butterfly. He’s gripping Shane’s hip with one of his hands, like he’s trying to shove him away, but instead digs his nails into Shane’s hip in a silent plea while Shane is falling apart with his face buried in Ryan’s neck, panting. The pressure is sucking, wanting, pulsing around him, making him jerk and shudder.

Shane doesn't believe in ghosts but he feels possessed, unable to think or breathe on his own, like there’s some demonic entity gripping him by the throat, sucking the air out, making him grind his hips, grinding himself incrementally deeper inside of Ryan.

Shane can feel himself in the sloppy wet, tight heat, and if he pulls out it would leak out, would mean to separate himself from Ryan, and that childish unwillingness is what makes Shane push himself even deeper inside. He’s so hard, his head still bursting, and it seems right.

Ryan makes a little hurt sound, both hands gripping Shane’s hips now, bucking a little, but Shane anchors his knees in the mattress and feels his body move on his own, pushing further inside. Shallow, trembling motions bring him deeper and Ryan goes more pliant with each new inch disappearing, and his hands travelling up to rest back on Shane’s shoulders once he’s bottomed out, seated fully inside. Shane lets his movements grow until swaying becomes rocking, deep and grounded, hearing Ryan’s soft, punched out breaths. A heartbeat passes, and another, and another. 

“Ryan.” Shane whispers and raises his head, finally, needs to see Ryan’s face, needs the connection, needs to see him, that he’s ok with this. “Ryan,” Shane pleads while he rocks back and forth, pulling Ryan’s body with him, watching Ryan’s eyes go wide and glassy, mouth open in a breathless moan at every thrust. 

Everything shattered in front of them, around them, and Shane feels like dying and being born again at the same time. “Ryan. Sorry. Baby, I’m...”

“Shane--” Ryan’s voice hitches with the impact of Shane burying himself in him, knocking a little air out of him on each slide in. “--Shane, it’s ok, you can keep goin’, I want it.”

Shane does. He finds Ryan’s mouth eventually, blindly, as it is turned towards him, opening, too, Shane moans because he hurts and because he’s never felt this whole, as complete as now that he’s buried to the hilt in Ryan.

“Tell me you’re mine.” Shane whispers brokenly. “Say it, say you’re mine.” 

“Yours” Ryan rasps out, sounding dazed, but his eyes were bright, alert. “And you’re mine.” he says, like a promise. 

Shane feels stricken. He jerks forward, burying his face in Ryan’s neck, sinking his teeth there, knowing he’s making a gutted sound, like a wounded animal. 

“Fuck--” Ryan groans through clenched teeth, arching into his bite. Shane eases up, leans his forehead against Ryan’s. “You’re mine, you’re mine, Shane.” Ryan says fervently, pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses against Shane’s jaw. 

Ryan stutters an exhale in Shane’s mouth when Shane anchors himself anew, breaches more weight on his elbows for his hips to have more momentum, and when his cock starts to produce slick noises where it punches inside, Ryan’s hands scrabble from back up to shoulders, hooks there, holds there. Ryan moans, sounding so wrecked, lashes clumped with tears and Shane has never felt better, closer, more in love than at this moment.

Shane’s hips snap now, movements frantic, because he can’t take pulling out too far, too long, because every bump of cockhead against Ryan’s prostate shoves breaths out of Ryan’s mouth like an involuntary present. Shane brings his shaky hands back down to grip Ryan’s thighs, holding him open and watches every motion, intent on memorizing them forever but well aware that it won’t be possible, but that won’t be necessary because this is them now, this, he won’t ever not live a day without this, being as close as humanly possible with Ryan, his Ryan, _his_ , forever his now.

Ryan’s gasping Shane’s name over and over, clutching around the fat girth of his cock, nails sinking deep in the skin of Shane’s shoulders and Shane’s breath hitches from the pain, but that’s okay, that’s good, because Shane wants to be marked up from this, wants to bleed, wants proof from this. It’s Ryan who yelps next, completely taken by surprise how much the pain urges Shane on, how it makes everything sweeter, heavier for Shane.

Shane lays his full weight on Ryan, fucks him deeper into the mattress, feels Ryan’s cock swelling again under his stomach. Shane pressed their bodies closer to increase friction. “One more, baby, come on.” Shane breathes, and wraps a slick fist around Ryan’s cock, squeezing firmly. 

Completely at his mercy, Ryan starts thrashing his shoulders, head slamming into the pillow again and again as he pleads with wordless moans and tears. Ryan isn’t speaking, at least anything decipherable; his head is tilted back, eyes shut, moaning with every thrust. 

Shane slams his hips forward, Ryan nearly screaming from the impact. With each thrust, Ryan’s cock slides through the ring of Shane’s fingers, their movements falling in sync, Shane clutching tighter when he feels the telltale twitching, knowing Ryan won’t last much longer. 

“That’s it, Ryan” Shane whispers, nipping at Ryan’s jaw encouragingly, rubbing a finger over Ryan’s dripping slit. “Come for me, baby.”

Almost on command, Ryan arches his back, and Shane could feel the tension rolling along his body, from his calves up to his shoulders, like a wave reaching its crest. When Ryan hits his peak for the second time, it tears through every muscle, every inch trembling, cock spurting only a weak, spent dribble. 

Shane’s losing himself, fading fast, losing all perspective yet acutely aware of every sensation. “Ryan,” he groans, moves roughly against him, lets Ryan’s cock slip from his hand, focused on grinding his hips, opts to finish with slow, deep thrusts, has to bite down on Ryan’s shoulder to stifle the growl that erupts when he does, because fuck, he can’t remember if he ever felt this good. 

His throat hurts, and he belatedly realize he probably shouted when he came. He feels light, like sighing, like shedding his body, leaving it all behind, only keeping the warmth of Ryan around him, in him.

Shane rocks his hips through the last remnants of his orgasm, every muscle rapidly clenching and unclenching. Shane lets his head hang beside Ryan’s, closes his eyes and breathes in, feels hearts pounding, chests heaving, unable to determine to whom they belong. 

The world puts itself back together with a gasp for air, and Shane blinks up at Ryan, who is watching him dazed eyes. Pupils blown, face and neck flushed, shining with sweat. His mouth looks well-bitten, so full with blood it’s edging on red. Shane leans down to kiss him, feeling Ryan expel a deep breath against his lips, slowly coming to as well.

His hands start sliding from Shane’s back but Shane doesn’t want them gone yet, ducks so they can stay, needing those arms wrapped around him. Shane’s lungs hurt from his rattling breath, sweat pouring from every pore, and he feels shaky, unsteady. He’s still buried but starts slipping out, now truly spent.

“Fuck--” Ryan says faintly, voice wrecked. “Shane--”

“Yeah,” Shane breathes out, before leaning back a little to look at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” Ryan says shakily, his body still trembling a little under him. Shane can see the darkening bruise of his bite mark on Ryan’s neck, and it makes something twist inside him. He reaches up, brushes over the spot gingerly with his thumb, like he can wipe the pain away.

Ryan shakes him off, inhaling shakily. "Come on, don't. Don't look like that." The corner of Ryan's mouth twitches. "It was fucking hot."

“Ok.” Shane said, throat feeling raw, capturing the younger man’s lips again. He felt Ryan hiss against his lips, truly oversensitized now, but when Shane made a move to get off him, Ryan held on to him, keeping him close. Shane breathes out a soft sigh, kisses his temple, and arranges them more comfortably on their side.

There are so many things he has to say, things he hasn’t ever been able to articulate, but they all crowd together when he opens his mouth and what comes out is, “I love you.” 

Shane hears Ryan’s soft intake of breath, sees him smiling, eyes crinkling in the corners. He feels himself shudder when Ryan leans in close to kiss him, slow and deep. 

“I love you,” Shane confesses to him again when he comes up for air what feels like hours or days or years later. “God, so fucking much.”

“Love you too,” Ryan sighs, soft and genuine.

"You do?" 

Ryan sighs deeply. "Of course I do.” Ryan sounds so certain and sincere under the sliver of irritation, like he can’t believe Shane was asking him that. Shane feels his heart swell so much it feels like he was going to explode and shatter into a million pieces. 

Ryan's eyes are closed, his expression blissed out and happy. He looks well-fucked and sated, mouth soft with it, and God, Shane loves that look. 

There’s really nothing else he would ever need.

-

"Sorry about earlier," Ryan says, hours later after they’ve napped and showered. They’re both sitting in front of the TV, with Ryan’s legs splayed over Shane's lap.

Shane made a questioning sound, his hands kneading Ryan's foot. 

“About, uh. Not kissing you on the court.” Ryan says, wiggling his toes in Shane’s hands.

Shane rubs his thumb down the heel of Ryan's foot. "It’s fine, Ryan. I’m the one that should be sorry." he says, and he means it. Shane feels Ryan’s frown on him. He changes the subject. “You should really get this checked out,” he remarks, tugging his small toe with the purple black bruise on the nail. “Hematomas can be--”

“It’s fine,” Ryan says impatiently, taking his feet off Shane’s lap, sitting up straight. “Shane, you shouldn’t be sorry. It’s-- you should know this. I’m not… afraid of people knowing about it. About us.”

Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just.. Didn’t want anyone to know about it yet, till I was… um, till I was sure you feel the same way.” 

Shane thinks hard for a moment. “Why would you ever think I didn’t feel the same way?” he said faintly. 

Ryan's staring at him appraisingly. “Can you blame me? You never told me--you never said you loved me before today.”

“I was waiting for you to say it first.” he confesses. It’s strange, to feel this elated, to say what had been rattling around inside of him for over a year.

“I did, I told you --”

“No, you didnt--”

“Oh my god I did, I literally said I liked you first, more than a friend--”

“That’s not the same thing and you know it.” Shane retorts, feeling light-headed. 

Ryan sighs through his nose, before shoving Shane's shoulder a little. “Yeah, ok whatever. I’m in love with you. I love you, you piece of shit. Happy?”

“Yeah.” Shane says, and he knows it’s sappy, but he feels over the moon. He schools his features, tries to look calm, not as affected as he feels but knows he can’t explain away why his eyes are a little wet. 

Ryan’s expression softens, and he takes Shane’s hand in his own. “You’re such a sap.” 

“Yeah,” Shane agrees. His hand turns in Ryan’s, holding him back and twining their fingers together.

“You gonna cry every time I say it?” Ryan teases.

"Shut up, Ryan." They laugh and grin because this is what they do, who they are. Shane knows that and in this very moment, he is more grateful than ever to have it.

**Author's Note:**

> Everything is fully consensual, but I feel the need to put a little reminder/warning here that if you wanna bone someone, definitely talk about it first in detail instead of just going to town. On that note, this is the smuttiest thing I've ever written. Hope you guys enjoyed it. A huge thanks to my beta, Alex ([deanwinchesterissaved](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanwinchesterissaved/pseuds/deanwinchesterissaved)) homie literally beta-ed in record time, I love you.


End file.
